Behind Her Empty Eyes

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them (Eph 5:11).

Her spirit is broken. Life is hell on earth. Darkness is her constant companion, and it has left her body void of life. She is empty. Each day begins and ends the same way. The hours in between? The same. She has tasted the horrifying taste of sin- not her own. 

She has been trafficked, one of the 27 million.

Tomorrow is Anti-Human Trafficking day. I will be wearing a key around my neck in honor of these strong souls. Will you join me? 

Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. (Eph 5:11-13).

Human Trafficking isn't some problem that just happens to the few, and it's about girls getting themselves in bad situations that's of their own doing. No, they have been kidnapped- they believe they have no choice- they have had their families lives threatened- they have been tricked- they have made harmful choices. And that is just naming a few of the reasons girls find themselves slaves to pimps. Human Trafficking is no joke. Women are lying helpless in brothels, and dying as slaves. This is not only an international issue, but this is happening in your own backyard, whatever country you are reading this post in. Seriously, check the stats. Human Trafficking, right now in the USA, is a booming market {my own soil}. Let's get real. 

Oct 18th (tomorrow), I'm joining the folks with the A21 Campaign to dedicate a day to seeing things change, only not stopping after one day. You can find out all about the A21 Campaign and Key2Free by clicking here and here.

For clear perspective watch the videos below. This stuff is real, folks.

My Name is...and I Struggle with....

Hello. My names is Jennifer, and I am a control freak.

Yep. That's my struggle. Until recently I thought it was just part of who I was. Now, I'm realizing that it is sin problem that has had seriously implications in my life. Control is that underlying problem that keeps me awake when I want to sleep. It's that nagging voice that fills me with fear, and leaves me useless.The anxiety that fills my chest with it's ache? Yep, a side effect of a much bigger control problem.

My life in this season is anything but controllable. Unpredictable is the word I would use to describe the place I am right now. That or "hard". Okay, and "hard". But I think the factor that makes it hard is more than my circumstances- it's my control issues over my circumstances that causes this ache.

I don't mean to control. But somehow that seems safe. When in reality, that's not an intelligent assumption. If I believe in God the way I say I do, then I have to know that I am safe. Not because my circumstances, my heart, or my life is safe, but because I have a fortress.

I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:2)

I'm tempted to try to write out the ways I work to control my life, but honestly, the issues are too deep, and I'm too tired to dig my way there right now. I'm sure you know. I'm sure you've been there- are there. Do you want to know what I think about this place right here in the brokenness? I think it stinks. I also think it's where God wants me. This place is where I can heal. When I'm broken, He can put me on that potter wheel of His and mold me. I want that. I want to be molded- changed. Being a control freak is not fun. There is no freedom in it.

If I'm going to be a slave to anything in my life, it is going to be to righteousness not sin.

Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness (Romans 6:16-18).

But I can't control my way into that. I've tried behavior changes without a heart change with no success. I need Him. Can't control everything, right? Or anything really.

It's a hard lesson, but one I want to learn inside out. I've learned so much about God's faithfulness in the past two years. I believe that this season of brokenness is only making me stronger in Him. Everything that I has been thrown in my lap is not beyond Him. I don't think I have ever loved Him in this way before in my life. It's a love that trusts Him enough to ask the hard questions. No, I haven't perfected any of the lessons He's taught me. I haven't grown in my love for Him and trust for Him enough to stop the anxiety. What I have learned is that He can handle me- all of me- controlling tendencies and all. He can make me new.

When I began to pray a series to do here on the blog, I had no idea how God was going to work in my life through it, or how I was going to witness Him working in your life through it. I'm humbled by your comments and your emails. It's funny: I received an email from almost every single guest blogger in this series telling me how much they were enjoying reading the other guest bloggers' posts. Thank you for reading and thanks to each of our guest bloggers!! Thank you, Lord, for always working in our obedience.

In His Name,
Jennifer

Women, Their God, and Their Struggles- Sarah at Inspiration- Driven Life

Hey there. I’m Sarah, and all I want is to be perfect.

Yes, I’ve uttered those words. Yes, I’ve shared that story. Yes, I’ve confessed: I just want to be perfect.

I loved the Disney Princesses when I was little, coming of age with Ariel especially. But Tinkerbell? Well, she was the rockstar with all the power. No other Disney character could make happen what Tinkerbell did. (Except for the Genie in Aladdin, but that’s a post for another day.)

With just a sprinkle of her fairy dust, she could make anything happen. And I wanted to do that too.

This Tinkerbell condition presented itself when I saw counselor for the first time in my life. I’ll never forget that meeting with the high school social worker about 10 years ago.

“I just want to be perfect,” I said. In that moment, I diagnosed myself. Tinkerbell Condition. With a mere sprinkle of my fairy dust, I wanted to make myself flawless.

The irony of it all, friends, was lost on me in the moment. Only perfect. Just perfect. As if to say, is that too much to ask?

This yearning to be perfect translated into a little lost puppy of a girl uncomfortable in her own skin. I recklessly sought the approval of others and tried in vain to sprinkle my own fairy dust.

In high school, trying to be perfect meant bending over backwards for good grades and bending over backwards for attention from boys and damaging my soul in the pursuit. Surrendering to Christ made sense, but I was too busy sprinkling that Tinkerbell fairy dust.

In college, trying to be perfect meant an overwhelming courseload and dozens of activities and getting the attention of my peers and the fullest calendar and internships and late nights and early mornings and doing everything with no rest. Flirting with surrender to Christ, and growing in Him but still questing for perfect.

After college, trying to be perfect meant a flawless resume and constant overtime and gym time and social scene time. Sprinkling that fairy dust everywhere. Trying to be perfect meant an abundant work life, social life, eating and drinking life. Grasping surrender but loosening that grasp all too often.

As I got ready for marriage, trying to be perfect meant job searching and wedding planning and still too much overtime and launching a business and saying yes to every invite and coordinating a cross-country move and still learning to surrender to Christ.

Today, it’s finding the fulcrum on this crazy teeter-totter of a life – it’s work, writing, building, living, loving, figuring out what it means to be a wife and a sister and a friend and an employee and a boss and . . . surrender is always just around the corner. Fairy dust today, surrender tomorrow. (Tomorrow rarely comes.)

Every day. This Tinkerbell Condition creeps in – sometimes it’s an anxious, intense, painful quest for perfect.

God, as usual, shows up.

My struggle is against perfection. Every day I live shows me that I’m anything but perfect. Beautifully, in my push towards perfect, I fall further and further from my goal and closer and closer to my God.

God is God. And I, friends, am not.

Tinkerbell, in her adorable and sexy green outfit, sprinkles her dust and fixes it all. My God, who made me, is so crazy bigger than Tink. God is bigger than fairy dust. God is redemption. God, in His grace, redeems my goofy, my mess-up, my mistake, my wish-I-hadn’ts. God, oh how I need God.

I pour fairy dust and try to be perfect and fail every time. And God? He just pours grace. That grace is big; I am weak, but He is strong.

Sarah is inspired by community and creativity. She’s a young professional in the communications, writing and nonprofit fields and can’t get enough of it. Sarah rocks a good cardigan, cherishes a great cup of coffee and loves painting her nails red. Connect with her on her blog, Inspiration-Driven Life, at http://sarahkocischeilz.wordpress.com and on Twitter @SarahKoci.

 

Women, Their God, and Their Struggles- Rebecca at Makes Sense To Me

I am more girl than I like to admit.

I try to be Miss Independent (circumstances sometimes don’t give us any choice), but being your own person is highly overrated, and one day I hope to become Mrs. Dependent. Of all the qualities I look for in a future Mister, one of the less exciting is this: provider. I know, feminism, gender equality, yadda yadda yadda... But you can’t tell me every woman doesn’t have a small desire, even if it’s well-hidden, to be taken care of. Not “you’re sick, so I’ll make soup,” but “I love you and you need to eat, so I’ll look for a job.”

This is where I struggle the most in my relationship with God. I know that He is Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord who provides. I know the verse in Isaiah that says, “your Maker is your husband.” But I still find it difficult to remember that He, my Husband, will provide for me. I expect it of my earthly future husband, but not the Lord my maker and provider.

Why?

Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.”

Sometimes I get the idea that when Jesus says “take up your cross” and “if you save your life, you’ll lose it,” He means I’ll either stop having physical needs or stop having them provided for. He wants the ultimate sacrifice, right? Jesus knew the practical, physical needs of those following Him, even though they did not ask, and get this -- he did not want them to faint. I believe behind the desire to be provided for is the deeper desire to be cared for. Sisters, he has compassion and does not want us to faint.

And the disciples said to him, “Where are we to get enough bread in such a desolate place to feed so great a crowd? And Jesus said to them, “How many loaves do you have?” They said, “Seven, and a few small fish.” ... And they all ate and were satisfied.

This is one of the hardest things for me to grasp: God is not limited by circumstances. It’s easier for me to believe this about some things than others. I worry about finding a job next year, being able to find friends and a church family, not spending the rest of my life alone... If I’m honest, it’s the circumstances that worry me more than anything. I have no doubt that God will provide given the conditions are favorable, but what if I’m in a desolate place? Is my need important enough for a miracle? Theirs was, and they were not left unsatisfied.

He took the seven loaves and the fish, and having given thanks he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds.

I almost overlooked this little part of the story, but I think it’s significant. Twice recently I’ve had people remind me that although He is a personal God, He is also an interpersonal one -- He works through people. Don’t be surprised when He provides for you through someone else. Don’t be surprised when He provides for someone else through you.

If you’re like me, you’re often surprised when He provides at all. Why? I question his feelings for me, I wonder if he’ll come through in a pinch, I’m not sure about his methods... Yeah, I think it has something to do with being a 100% normal girl. And that’s ok, because I have a 100% faithful Maker-Provider-Husband God.

*Scriptures taken from Matthew 15:32-37 and Isaiah 54:5 (ESV).

Rebecca Brady is a 20-something from Georgia who likes words, music, and attractive single men. After finishing grad school next month, she plans to spend the next year volunteering as an English teacher in Romania. Feel free to follow her adventures at somecallmebecky.blogspot.com.

Women, Their God, and Their Struggles- Jeri at God's Dreams for Me

The Rhythm of Rest

As I write this, I'm heading into a week of rest and healing.

You see, I know better. Yet, somehow I got so caught up in the extra activities (fun ones) and normalcy that I missed the signs. I plummeted into extreme exhaustion. Complete shutdown.

In the past exhaustion came with too much of the everyday...perfecting single parenting, working double hours, too many unrealistic expectations placed on me by others and myself. Overdoing, overkill, pushed to over serving too. Over and over and over until a few years ago my poor little body couldn't take it any more and it quit.

It was not the normal tired. This is being so tired that you become physically ill. I was past that, I was in the not able to eat, sleep, think straight, or do my normal. I couldn’t even get up the stairs without help or breathe normally.

Physically exhausted. Emotionally drained. Spiritually dry. This is where so many are right now. Mentally, two words can't even be put together. You read that sentence in your book over and over and it doesn't stick, right? You don't even feel like you can get ready for the day.

I totally get that. I've been there too many times to count. You pray, do devotions, and ask for prayer with no resolution. Your rhythm is off. You’ve lost the rhythm of work, rest, and play.

For some it’s more than a short-term situation. Some of us have been overworked all our lives. Overworked in relationships that don't return love given. Overworked by others expectations of us. Overworked in serving and giving until we just can't do it any more. Even then, you ask for help, but are left to feel as if you're letting others down unless you press and push...on your own.

How do we get off this crazy ride?

It takes a decision of faith to say, "Stop! I'm getting off."

Your Own Unique Rhythm of Rest:

The rhythm of rest is so vital to a healthy life. It begins with knowing how much you can and cannot give before you say yes or no. It's starting the day off gentle. Then, pausing throughout the day -- breathing, refocusing, finding gratitude.

There's no formula for it. It's your own unique rhythm that is God faceted. It begins with just being with Him.

There's no avoiding the stresses and strains of life. Even pain will come. When it does, let Him take you through it in a way that He has designed for you. Your rhythm of rest will start to flow. It will become inviting.

You'll know when you need it - at the first sign of it all being a little too much. For example, people might become too much to be around. You can’t seem to problem solve like you normally can. If you take too long, it'll rob you of your little joys and blind you to the everyday wonders. Your creativity will slowly diminish.

How My Rhythm Began:

When I first started, it was just uncomfortably quiet. Slowly, it grew peaceful. I could hear better, listen better. I found my niche of creativity. I found more of Jesus. I craved it.

I still can get caught up in the “doing” or fun sometimes, just like I did a few weeks ago. Lack of joy signals the need to get my groove back. I know what waits for me in rest. I can hear the song God sings over me. My rhythmic melody that quiets, refocuses, and heals the hurry. I find the joys again. I notice the small wonders. These and the people God has placed in my life shower grace and love again.

I'm praying for you to make your decision of faith and with Jesus to find yours.

Soul Refreshment:

Lamentations 3:28-29 ~ When life is heavy and hard to take; go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear.

Psalm 119:113 ~ You're my place of quiet retreat;
I wait for your Word to renew me.

A Special Series by one of my mentors:

Holley Gerth will be writing Project Renew You all of April. Topics on rest and balance have been covered so far. A little more encouragement and direction for us all.

Bio: I am a loved wife. Mom of two forgiving adult sons and a beautiful daughter-in-law. Proud new Yaya (grandma)! Pet parent to my constant companion. I’m learning to Unwrap God’s simple joys in life and at my blog home God’s Dreams For Me in My Everyday.

Women, Their God, and Their Struggles- Kari at Sacred Mundane

Surrendering to the Stinky Waters of Struggle

Struggle. Yes. Do I struggle? Yes. What am I struggling with now? Depends on the day. Usually it's a nice cocktail of parenting woes, wounded ego, body battles, and just plain discouragement. There is no one big “thing” in my life right now but check back with me in an hour. ;) Whatever the daily struggle may be, a few years ago God impressed a certain truth on my heart and I revisit it often. It gives me the courage to lower myself into the struggle and let it wash me with the cleansing waters of humility. I pray it can encourage you to do the same...

In this particular season I had been a bit discouraged with parenting. Specifically, with my three-year-old’s behavior in Sunday School at church. We had done the sticker charts, rewards, treats, sp-nking, time-outs, praise and applause and jumping up and down. We’d talked about it, cried about it, prayed about it. And it just wasn’t working, and quite frankly I was weary. I found myself dreading every trip to church, dreading the check-in time when inevitably my son would morph from darling boy into “dangerous shark”, dreading the pick-up time when I would hear that he took off his shoe and threw it at someone (yes, that really happened), dreading the look on the teachers’ faces when they see him arrive.

I felt like going to a therapy meeting and saying, “Hi, I’m Kari, and yes, my son is ‘that kid’.”

“Why this, Lord? I’m busting my tail at parenting. I read all the books, try all the methods, pray pray pray. I study the Word, I teach him Bible verses, I spend all day with him. This is humiliating and I feel like everyone’s an expert on this except me. Why am I apparently the only one failing in this area? I don’t want to be the mom of the bad kid! How on earth can I be a women’s ministry leader and Bible teacher if my son clocks people in the head with his shoe?!!”

Then I remembered something a friend had said:

“It’s very humbling to have ‘that kid’, isn’t it?” Oh boy is it ever.

The next night after the shoe-throwing incident we were doing our little family devotional time with the kids. We were all snuggled in bed and my husband was reading from the Jesus Storybook Bible. The story, which we'd a dozen times before, was of Naaman, the very important commander of the Syrian army, who was sick with leprosy, and sought the healing prayer of Elisa the prophet. But instead of Elisha coming out to greet him and bowing down to Naaman in honor, Elisha doesn’t even come out of his house, but instead sends out his servant who tells Naaman to simply wash in the stinky, smelly Jordan river seven times. Now Naaman was indignant, saying,

“I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call upon the name of the LORD his God, and wave his hand over the place and cure the leper. Are not Abana and Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” (2 Kings 5:11-12)

Then he turns in a rage and storms off.

Do you hear the pride? Naaman wanted God to heal Him using Naaman’s methods, methods that reinforced his own pride and met his expectations of what miraculous healing should look like.

Who finally speaks some reason into this prideful heart? Interestingly, Naaman’s humble servants:

“But [Naaman's] servants came near and said to him, “My father, it is a great word the prophet has spoken to you; will you not do it?”

In other words, “God has given you a clear directive for your healing and restoration. Are you really telling me you’re too proud to do it?”

Am I too proud to do it?

How many times had I prayed, “God heal me of my pride. God sanctify me. God grant me humility. God grant me a teachable spirit. God help me connect with the real needs of women around me. God help me grow in maturity and wisdom. God reveal areas that are sinful that need Your touch. God heal me of my selfishness, heal me of my insecurity, heal me of myself.”

He answered: Go wash in the Jordan.

Go wash in the murky, stinky waters of a toddler’s rebellion and embarrassing misbehavior. Go wash in the murky water of trial and error, of charting unknown waters, of trying new things that oftentimes don’t work. Go wash in the waters of humility, in the waters of asking others for help, in the waters of exhausting repetition and consistency. Go wash in the waters of faith and not of sight.

“But Lord! I’d rather wash in the crystal clean waters of Bible Study. I’d like to grow in my sanctification by…hmm…how about blogging? That’s a fun way to grow! Or perhaps by really successful speaking engagements, that’s fun too. Or by really encouraging, deep, meaningful times in the Word each and every morning. That would be fabulous. Or perhaps I could even just read a few good books, underline a lot, and then have the whole thing down pat. That’d be great. But these waters? The waters of the Jordan? These are stinky and smelly and humiliating.”

But these are the waters of life. Finally, Naaman saw the error of his ways, and in verse 14 we read,

“So he went down and dipped himself seven times in the Jordan, according to the word of the man of God, and his flesh was restored like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.”

So I, like Naaman, finally surrendered to the stinky waters of struggle.

And I continue to wash in those waters in different ways.

When the word of criticism stings: Go wash. When you have “that kid”: Go wash. When the loneliness overwhelms you: Go wash. Whatever is stinky and smelly in your life may actually be the means of your salvation.

Believing this with you today. Thanks so much for reading.

Kari Patterson juggles the hats of pastor’s wifey, preschool mommy, speaker, teacher, writer, mentor, friend, daughter–occasionally dropping them all on her crumb-covered floor. (It’s ok, really.) She celebrates the Sacred Mundane over at KariPatterson.com.

Women, Their God, and Their Struggles- Rebecca at "She Becomes"

When Jennifer first asked if I would like to write a guest post for her blog series I felt honored and excited to take part in her beautiful corner of the internet. And then I realized that she wanted me to share about struggle, and I freaked out a little. I knew if I said yes to writing this it would mean one of two things:

Either I would write a half-hearted, feel good, put-on-a-happy-face post to make you all believe I'm okay and struggle is cool and that everything is just fine...

Or...

God would use this to break me a little and get ugly real about life.

I'm gonna shoot for the latter.

It could be the fact that I will be turning 30 in a few short weeks and life is nothing at all how I had thought or hoped it would be.

But now, more than ever, life is a struggle.

It seems as though the dam has busted, and all of the devil's lies are crashing over me. I try to hold my breath but as I gasp for air I swallow mouthfuls. They force their way cold through my body as

"You're not good enough."

"You're dirty."

"Don't you remember what you did?"

"You hear those whispers? You know what they're saying about you."

"They don't really love you"

"You'll never know that kind of love."

"Your desires are too good for you."

"All your friends are busy with husbands and wives and children and careers. Their worlds are spinning and moving around you. Why are you so stuck and alone?"

It seems like 30 is the age by which respect has been gained. Identities have been secured. Life is well in process and those dreams are well on their way to being realized.

But now, more than ever, I find myself struggling with my worth.

I have always been independent and confident, and maybe even a little courageous. But lately I am stripped of these securities.

In my vulnerability I so easily believe the lies and forget who I am: a child of the King.

I hear the lies and I know they are just that. I don't understand why I am here in this season. Why believe the lies when I know they are lies? There is much in this life that I don't understand. But, I take heart in knowing that I don't have to understand to have faith. I just have to remember (and believe) that

He is God; and I am not.

Faith is believing that God sent his Son to this crazy mad world as human. He suffered and struggled and died for me: for us. He was here. He walked in these shoes. And he gets it

He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

For reasons beyond my understanding, He was willing to come to this world and feel my struggle. He was willing to suffer. He was willing to die.

You see, being God, He knows something I don't.

He knows everything I don't.

And knowing all this, He says we are worth it, and life is worth it. Even in Especially in the seasons of struggle.

And this faith I hold onto tells me that He is right.

From his suffering and through his death we find new life. I find REDEMPTION.

This doesn't make life easy. It doesn't take away the struggle. It doesn't make me forget my mistakes.

But it does give me an identity of great worth which no one and no thing can take away.

 

My name is Rebecca, and my heart has been captured by the poor and by children with special needs. I am passionate about all children having the opportunities and support that they need to meet their full potential and live out their dreams. I love traveling with a purpose, loving on the least of these, hiking, my dog, and anything that appeases the adventure junkie deep within. When the mood strikes, I share my thoughts and stories of this great pursuit for "more of Him and less of me" over at She Becomes, where you are always welcome to stop by and say hi.

New Series Announcement

Good morning and happy Friday to you!

A picture from my college years for kicks

I'm excited about today for a couple of reasons. The biggest one being that it's Friday, only the best day of the work week. The next best reason is that Monday I will be starting a new series here on the blog, called Women, Their God, and Their Struggles. I have been wanting to have a couple of guest bloggers on here for a while, but until recently, the right series had not come along. Then God begin to lay this series on my heart, and y'all, I'm thrilled. I believe that God has a plan for this series. The women I have asked to guest post this week are women who have challenged me and encouraged me through their blogs. I was prayerful about who to ask. As you know, there are so many great women I could have chosen. But these particular women are the women I believe God intends to use to speak to you through their struggles.

The title, Women, Their God, and Their Struggle, says exactly what you will read through the posts next week. They are women, with relationships with God, who struggle. Can't we all relate? Okay, maybe not you (one, two, zero) men who read here. But you can relate to struggle and God, right? Well, there ya go. I can't wait. I've obviously read there post already; they are beautiful and straight from the heart of women.

So, please be sure to read next week beginning Monday. You won't regret it.

I also want to say a big, huge, ginormous thank you to the beautiful ladies who are laying their hearts across the pages of this blog just for you and this girl. It's not easy to be genuine and vulnerable with struggles, but the reward is great. Thank you!

Thank you, friends, for reading. It means a lot to this blogger.

In His Name,
Jennifer