Tuesday, July 14, 2009

This Topsy-Turvy Thing Called Life

Okay, I don't really know if that is how you spell *topsy-turvy*. Oh well.

Life is good right now, but I find myself losing interest with where I am. I have great internship; I have Friday-Monday free every week; and I get to spend a lot of time with my family. Working-out has become part of my routine and my relationship with God was on a nice steady path of growth. Yet, I have found myself, like I said, losing interest.

I don't get excited about going to the Pregnancy Center, I get tired of being around my family all the time, I've lost interest in working-out, and I've lost the zeal in time with God.

I'm lonely. Friends I had in town are not in my life anymore. We all naturally went our separate ways when we each left for school. One of my very best friends, Jessica, is still here. However, she is a workaholic.

Now, I'm back in town for the summer and I'm LONELY!

I'm lonely for companionship and I'm tired of my single status. To have people to talk to...to hang out with would be great. Then I think I could live with the single status-just a little longer. ;)

You know what I've learned?

I have learned that my loneliness is a tool Satan uses against me. He always has.

When my relationship with God begins to really grow, that's when he brings out the loneliness card. It never fails. Yet, I fall for it every time.

I can see it coming. I saw it coming this time.

God was teaching me so much...

*He still is even as I type this post*

......and I started visiting this college Wednesday night Bible Study. It was great I loved it; The lesson was deep; The people were friendly; and the guys were good to look at (Forgive me. I'm weak).

Then it happened. I began to feel insecure about how the people at Bible Study felt about me. I was starting to feel like the odd one out because they all knew each other. Satan starts whispering things in my ear. I notice the guys and wonder did they notice me too. This wondering reminds me of my discontentment with my single status.

All of this a tool of Satan- a tool he uses over and over to keep me right where he wants me.

He wants me to have one HUGE pity party.

He has to keep me STUCK!

Well, He succeeded for a season. NOT anymore. I have been reminded of who I am and WHOSE I am. *Zephaniah 3:17* This verse is one of my favorite reminders of how much I mean to God.

Whether I'm lonely and insecure or content and confident, He cares.

He knows my highs and lows better than anyone else. He cares deeply. I believe He says to cast our cares because He cares.

In His love,

Jennifer

2 comments:

Edie said...

The enemy will use anything he can to get us to take our focus off of Jesus. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

I have Zephaniah 3:17 on a 3x5 here in front of my computer. It is a blessing.

Have missed you!!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

It's great to hear from you, Jennifer. Everything you write here are feelings I've felt along the way at various points in my journey with Jesus Christ. I've shed many a tear in regards to my loneliness.

I'm no longer very lonely, but every now and then it creeps in, and I feel as if I'm the "only one."

You're not the only one, and if you ever want to talk further about life stuff or about nothing at all, you can email me or call. I'd love to come alongside you and buoy your spirits in this time.

peace~elaine