Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Needing Accountability

Aunt Cheryl, you are the one who has inspired this post (the comment you left about accountability being two way). :)

I am a creation of the same God who created the starry nights I love so much. I'm me as unique as that may be. Yet, I doubt I'm as different as I feel sometimes. Many times I feel like I'm unusual in my struggles. You know, that "everyone who has been saved as long as I've been is beyond this" syndrome. Been there and stay there often.

The problem is I'm not alone and neither are you. Now, this doesn't seem like a problem except that we all believe the lie- "somehow we are not as strong as other Christians". If Christians would be open and honest about where we are, where we want to go, and the struggles we go through to get there; we would be more unified.

Honestly, I'm no where near where I want to be....I'm no where near where I should be considering how long I've had a relationship with God....I struggle with things that I should have conquered long ago....

What keeps us here?

We all struggle.

PRIDE ( at least that is my problem)

I have too much pride to be honest with you about my struggles. I tend to keep things to myself. Add pride to that....I have a problem.

Here's what I'm learning: We are all in the same boat. You have either been through the trial I'm in, you know someone who has/is/will, or you will.

So there. I'll help you! Please help me!

In His Love,

Jennifer

5 comments:

Angela said...

Thanks for writing this! I too feel really weird to say that I suck at trusting God sometimes! It is not as if he has not showed up in the past! I am here for you if you ever want to talk! You are such a sweet girl!

Angela

Courtney said...

That's my main issue too, dear. Pride, wholly concentrated in this heart of mine, is vying for attention and control. Sadly, most of the time it wins out, leaving the child who wants to follow the will of her Abba out in the cold.

I'm here struggling with you. I don't have the answers, but I'm not giving up the search.

"Now I know in part, then I shall know fully - even as I am fully known"

Love yam!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Jennifer:
If you've read my last few posts, then you know the struggle I'm having and continue to have periodically! I'm 42 and still "working this thing out" with God. Yes, life has afforded me a few lessons in 42 years, but to say I've arrived at some measure of unshakeable faith or humility would be a lie.

I live my life outloud and want to keep things real. Some people aren't always comfortable with such talk ... as if I'm supposed to have reached some level of "perfection" by now. Please.

All this to say...

don't be discouraged, dear one. Keep wrestling all things out before the throne, knowing that our God can handle it as long as your being honest and willing to move on and grow up in Him.

Will things get better? Yes. But do me a favor...

give yourself some breathing room. God's grace is bigger than your issues. I know, I know...don't use his grace as your excuse for continuing to walk in any willful sin. But don't let the enemy talk you into thinking that you are "less" because of it.

Humbly submit your sin and frailties to the King and let him shower you with a rich love and peace that only his heart can bring.

Enough of my "book". If you ever need to email, feel free.

Hang in there. Praying for you this night.

peace~elaine

Stephanie said...

You're not alone in this Jennifer! The verse comes to mind..."Let he who thinks he stands take head less he fall"...so it is a good thing to be honest and recognize our struggles and failures. It puts us in the proper position of humility and dependance on God.

I often think the danger of blogging is that I can only be so honest (since the Interent is a very public place) about what I'm going through so it might come across that I'm more spiritual or "put together" than I really am. Don't believe that! :)

Once again, you've caused me to think. Praying for you!

Bethanne said...

there is only one person in the world that I have told how I really feel, my mom. Often I don't even tell her everything. Often when I walk in church I feel like a whole new person. different from the one left at home.

Hang in there girl. We've all got problems.