Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Beautiful Life from Excruciating Death

I'm dying; I'm sure of it. Va Morir? Is that what the missionary said? My legs burn. Each step requires energy I cannot create. And I wonder if my body has enough water. Is that shade in the distance? They say we're going up that hill. God, I need you. My legs wont' make that hill without you.

Raiti, Nicaragua
Courtesy of Flickr: Josiah Townsend

We're in Nicaragua, March 2008, and it's my first mission trip. I'm experiencing selfless giving at a deeper level, hiking miles of endless hills to share the Gospel with the people. What I don't know, at the beginning of our excursion, is how close I am to my death bed.

Va Morir- You are going to die.

Our first night, we're a little apprehensive. I'm wondering what I've gotten myself into. And he says, Va Morir. Well, that's comforting. With a little explaining on his part, we learn that our physical deaths are not his intent. Death of our flesh? His priority.

Each exhausting step was a {somewhat sweet} reminder that death was inevitable. The destiny of their souls had to outweigh, the cries of my flesh. I was dying.

Stepping on a American soil was a different Jennifer. You know I refused to wear makeup for a couple of months after our return? Not because I thought makeup was bad, but I was afraid of losing the nuggets of truth I had gathered on Nicaragua's foreign soil.

I've held on to this since learning the hard truths of fleshly death. Now, I'm learning anew the pain experienced with the flesh dies.

If you want to read a post I wrote as I processed the trip, you can find that here.

That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit (John 3:6).

Embrace death. It's where you find life.

In His Name,
Jennifer

4 comments:

Rebecca said...

I actually washed my clothes in the bathtub when we got back, and sometimes I think I can smell Nicaragua! Whenever I think something's going to kill me, I just remember that I survived that trip -- twice -- and was better for it. I'm so glad I got to die with you :)

Jennifer said...

I love that! Nicaragua is beautiful- I miss it. It was quite a learning experience. I'm glad we could die together! :)

Danise Jurado said...

The pain of dying to the flesh is always worth the amazing life that it brings our soul and spirit. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story in such a lovely way...
Blessings
Danise

Jennifer said...

Amen, Danise!