Friday, January 13, 2012

Sometimes I Just Need To Type

This post may make no sense, but I need to ramble and you seem like good "ears".

I've been thinking about my life. Okay, I do that all the time. It's true. I'm on a constant search for how to be better, do better, and live better. And I think that's my problem- I'm focused on me. Even though I'm praying for wisdom on how to live, where to live and how He wants to use me, I'm still thinking about how I can be used- how I can control the situation. The comparison game also plays a part in all this confusion. Do people think I'm crazy for not going on to get my MSW. I wonder, "Am I crazy?" or "Should I be more actively pursuing a job in my degree?". People seem to think I should. What about the passions that God has given me? I know what they are, but I don't know what to do with them. I have so much I want to do, and I want to do it now. When will it be "my time"? I really struggle with this, y'all.

Then, there are many ways I'm content with where I believe God has me. I love this space. Writing here has been good therapy and good ministry for me> My job is a blessing. Even though not my choice, it's a season of intense ministry and stretching.> Some things are in the works where I can use my passion for advocating for ministries. Good stuff.

The problem is my eyes are in the wrong place. It's never a good thing to have my eyes focused on myself or the future.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

Do justice.
Love kindness
Walk humbly with your God

Live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to you, just as God has called you... (I Corinthians 7:17).
I don't have all the answers, but I know where they are found. I'm going to trust Him as I pray, seek, and live.

See, I feel better all ready. I knew "talking" to you guys would help. Oh, and the Truth's healing power helps. :)

In His Name,


Rebecca said...

Girl, He must be using the same lesson plans for you and me! It's so easy to compare myself to friends who are serving overseas or in 'obvious' ministry settings. I keep asking, "ok God, I know you called me to ministry, so why don't you seem to be leading me in that direction?" (Actually, I was just getting ready to blog on a related subject.) I need to wrap my mind around the fact that while God's calling on my life hasn't changed, the situations He leads me to/through will probably always be changing! And for the record, I'm so glad He gave you a job that gives you time to write because I truly look forward to your blogs! :)

Jennifer said...

Wow. Girl, reading your comment, I say He is definitely using the same lession plans. It's a tough place to be. I'm learning His ways aren't our ways, but that doesn't mean He's not accomplishing His purpose or using me where I am. You're right the things He's called us to haven't changed, but the situations will probably change continuously-- That's good stuff, Becca!

Thanks, I love your comments! And I love sneaking over to your blog-- A LOT. ;)