Monday, May 7, 2012

When the Heart is Ugly

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).

My Heart Belong To You
Courtesy of Flickr: here
God is dealing with me about my heart, and I must say: it's no fun. Staring at the ugliness of one's own heart is...Well, ugly. But one thing I decided lately is I don't want to stay in this mess. I can deal with the sins of my heart now, and let God start this transformation; or I can let my heart sit in it's filth for another twenty years, and deal with them after the roots have settled deeper than they are now. The latter is how we typically, how I typically, function. That, however, is not how God intends for His people to live.

I realize sin is captivity, a life lacking freedom,- that it is simply wrong. Got it.What trips me up is the little fact that I can't do it in my own strength. I've tried. I've failed. I want so bad to be able to say, "I'm done with pride, with arrogance, with covetness, with hurting others...", and then be done. We can if we are looking for behavior changes without spiritual transformation. But how long will that last? I want spiritual transformation that leads to behavior changes.

Luke 6 says that the good stored up in a man's heart is what overflows out of his mouth. Ouch. I don't know about you, but often what comes out of my mouth are the very things that keep me on my knees. Heart issues, much? I'm tempted to settle into my guilt. Aren't we all? Have we forgotten grace that cleanses- that not only forgives, but makes new? We (I) don't have to will the changes in our lives. Instead, we drop to our knees, repent, pray for help, and choose to make the changes that come from newness. Let's not be passive, but let's be dependent (on Him). It's not exactly what our culture teaches, but I'm not sure independence is working for them.

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23).

I wish I could grab every person that I hurt through my mouth (heart), look them in the face and say, "I have heart issues! Please forgive me. I'm on the Potter's wheel". Maybe I should do that.

In His Name,
Jennifer

2 comments:

Ashah said...

You are amazing. I love your openness. Praying for you chick.

Jennifer said...

Thanks, boo! You're pretty amazing yourself! :)