It all began with "seek"ing (my one word) God. I felt God tugging at my heart regarding my lack of "seek"ing Him. That prompting hasn't left; in fact, it has only strengthened. God has really amazed me in the way He has allowed me to find Him since I began actively seeking Him. I'm not sure why I'm surprised. The promise that He would be found by me when I seek Him is all over scripture (1 Chro 28:9, Prov 8:17, Jer 29:13...).
Once I began seeking Him, I started to see other themes develope. God began to show me things in His Word about idols. I wasn't sure what Hewas trying to teach me at first. I knew He was trying to get my attetion, but the dots were not exactly connecting for me. One morning I was particularly stressed> I was unhappy about my job and where I was in my life. I was having a meltdown that had been brewing for a couple of days. As I was getting ready to walk out the door, it was like I just had a light bulb moment (Thank you, Jesus). I realized that my happiness had become an idol. Every other idol in my life was just a sub(idol) of happiness. At first I knew the thought was profound. I even remember thinking was that God? But it wasn't until later that I really started to understand the repercussions of such a revelation. Now that I was aware of my idoltry, I could no longer plead ignorance. It would be sinning to stay in my sin. I was also fully aware of the pain I was going to face in letting go. Pain would follow in deciding I would stay where God planted me no matter how "unhappy" I was. Deciding that my dreams and aspirations could wait would be painful. Letting go of the things when they are deeply rooted in your heart is hard.
It has been a day since I realized what has been holding me back from God's best. I'm a lot better than I was yesterday morning. When you follow God and set your feelings aside, you are exactly where God wants you, but the contentment, peace, and joy may not come overnight. I'm learning that His Truth can be trusted, and I'm standing on His promises. It has been an awesome twenty-four hours for me. I just keep seeking Him, and I'm finding Him everywhere.
I want to share a couple of verses that God has shown me that have spoken right to my situation.
Isaiah 55:9
Deut 4:25-31
Hebrews 13:20-21
Isaiah 18:22
The last theme that has been showing up in my time with God is "Hope". I haven't quite figured out what part "hope" is going to play, except that there is a lot of hope for me. :) I'm so grateful for a Savior who is patient!
In His Name,
Jennifer
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